Заранее спасибо

Dear Signore Direttore;
Now I am tella you a story how I was treated at Your hotella.
I comma from Roma as tourist to London and stay as a
younga Christian man at your hotella. When I comma in
my room I see is no shit in my bed. How can I sleep
with no shit in my bed? So I calla down to receptione
and tella, I wanna shit.
They tella me: Go to toilet.
I say. No, no. I wanna shit in my bed.
They say: you better not shit in your bed you
sonnawabitch.
What is a sonnawabitch?
I go down for breakfast into ristorante, I order bacon
and eggs and two pissis of toast. I getta only one
piss of toast. I tella waitress, and pointa of toast.
I wanna piss.
She tella me: Go to toilet.
I say : No, no. I wanna piss on my plate.
She then say to me: you bloody hella not piss on the
plate, you sonnawabitch.
What is a sonnawabitch?
Later I go for dinner in your ristorante. Spoon and
knife is laid out, but no fock.
I tella waitress: I wanna fock.
And she tella me: sure everybody wanna fock.
I tella her: NO, no. You don´t understand me. I wanna
fock on the table.
She tella me: so you sonnawabitch wanna fock on the
table? Get your ass out of here.
So go to receptione and ask for bill. I no wanna stay
in this hotella no more. When I have paid the billa,
the portier say to me: Thank you, and peace on you.
I say:piss on you too, you sonnawabitch.
I go back to Italy.I never gonna stay at your hotella,
you sonnawabitch.
Sincerely
Agnomma

Но главное, чтобы люди не подумали, что sonowabitch - это "итальянский" спеллинг. Это вполне нормальный амерский/английский спеллинг.
:-))

Мне понравилось вот это объяснение
http://www.manbottle.com/picture_library/sonofabitch

(с) Анатолий Рыбаков, Каникулы Кроша.
:-)

A bus stops and two Italian men get on.
They seat themselves, and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but then she listens in horror as one of the men says the following:
"Emma comes first, den I come. Two asses, dey come together. I come again. Two asses, dey come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come once-a more."
"In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!" retorted the lady indignantly.
"Hey coola down lady," replied the man.
"Imma just tellun my friend howata spella MISSISSIPPI...."

Alan Parker's Mississippi Burning (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0095647/):
- What has four "eyes" but can't see?
- Mississippi