Subject: April's Fool Day, guys! A lawyer is a person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a "brief." (Franz Kafka)Man goes goes to lawyer for help. A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. "But why?" asks the man. "I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies. He snatched it from her and began quickly scanning pages, his eyes darting right and left. The wife was curious. "What are you doing, honey?" she asked. "I'm looking for loopholes!" he shouted. ;) |
Последняя история мне понравилась. Ну, то есть, в абстрактном смысле, no offence присутствующим на форуме юристам :-) |
Внесу посильный вклад в празднование 1-го апреля: Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. [Alternate: the theory that you can expand infrastructure, create jobs, and built long-term economic prosperity by going deeper into debt. ] Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you. Glibido: All talk and no action. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole |
И я.. про опасности работы переводчиком... и другие интересные истории: №1 №2 Копия - в Отдел Контрразведки. ______________РАПОРТ_______________ Довожу до Вашего сведения, что за время моего дежурства отмечено три 1. В 6 часов 15 минут пополудни, в чердачном помещении, расположенном 2. В 8 часов 20 минут пополудни на контрольно-пропускном пункте второго 3. 11 сентября в 2 часа 35 минут ночи отмечено срабатывание сигнализации В связи с экстраординарностью вышеуказанных происшествий и учитывая тот Дежурный офицер внутренней безопасности Приложения: 11 сентября 2003 г. |
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link 1.04.2004 20:56 |
Ну и от меня кое-чего :) Где взял - не помню, но это просто песня! Всех с праздником! "заглянул в справочник "товары" в торговую базу и офигел. торгуем игрушками, ассортимент огромный, ниже - его часть (сорри за заглавные буквы, орфография сохранена)." БЫК С СОСКОЙ |
а вот вам с сайта russian jokes про chukcha: A Chukcha boarded a train and asked the train attendant to wake him before the stop at Irkutsk. When Chukcha fell asleep, one more passenger boarded the train. This man was just released from jail. He saw Chukcha's clothes hanging. He took Chukcha's things, hung instead his old rags, and left the train at the first station. When the attendant woke Chukcha, he donned the clothes, and walked out. He looked at himself and thought, "Hey, the attendant is stupid though. Woke a wrong man." A Chukcha came to the Bering's straits and shouted toward Alaska, A Chukcha won a Volga [the most expensive Russian car] in a lottery. He comes to the shop to get his prize. |