Dear Sirs,
In June 2009 I will be graduating from the Academy of Public Administration with a Degree in Public and municipal administration with specialization in Management of economic safety and area security. I’m standing on the eve of new stage of my life. And I realize that I don’t want to stop on what I’ve reached. Knowledge and experiences that I have in this moment are not enough for my further successful work and career. Therefore I hope that studying at program Master on Euroasian International Business I will be able to fill rents and gaps in my qualification and increase my own value on the labour market.
I was born and grow up in Russia. In a country where we have a bridge on one side of wich there is Europe and on other – Asia. Presently Russia rapidly develops interrelationship with Europe and Asia. Negotiations about Russian entry into WTO are in progress, strategic partnership agreement between Russian Federation and European Union is exists, Russia export to Europe and import various goods and crude materials. The largest neighbor of Russia in Asia is China. Russia and China are cooperating in diverse spheres such as policy, economy and security matters. Our countries have many mutual problems, environmental issue, for example. Also we have a lot of common undertakings, Chinese factories and whole towns are building all over Russia these days. Russian enterprises and firms advert to Chinese producers of various commodity groups increasingly to establish partnership relations and profitable business agreements. But the lack of highly skilled professionals is evident at present, professionals trained in high European standards, which are capable to run business properly in international standing. This is why in studying in the Universitat Autonoma de Barcelona on Master on Euroasian International Business program I see the capability not only to carve a career and succeed in life but also a possibility to introduce a positive impact in developing of Russian-European and Russian-Asian relations.
I strongly hope that you will find my background that you can see in my Curriculum Vitae appropriate to the Universitat Autonoma de Barcelona requirements on this program. I’m looking forward to your answer.
Thanks in advance,
Sincerely yours
Yulia Sidorova

Для людей, которые будут принимать решение о вашем зачислении, важнее всего узнать о ваших успехах в учебе и внеучебной, так сказать, деятельности. Они хотят услышать о том, почему вы сможете стать отличной студенткой и как вы сумеете обогатить и без того уже богатую общественную жизнь их учебного заведения. Прочитав ваше письмо, почему-то стало как-то неуютно и как-то неспокойно за часть России, которая по ту сторону "моста" with all those "Chinese factories and whole towns building all over Russia these days". Too much emphasis on China! You have to speak more about yourself, your successes, your goals, your motivations. Show them you've already achieved something and willing, capable, and ready for more. Give your own examples. Это что касается "в целом".
(это, конечно же, сугубо личное мнение)

Ошибочки тоже есть, но исправлять не хотелось бы пока версия не окончательная.