DictionaryForumContacts

 Boris Popov

link 18.04.2005 11:18 
Subject: Off: Have an easy Monday, everyone :)
Возможно, текстик уже с "бородой" - но мне попался только на этих выходных. Надеюсь, поднимет настроение...

The Dictionary: what hi-tech salespeople say and what they mean by it

New: Different color from previous design.

All new: Parts not interchangable with previous design.

Unmatched: Almost as good as the competition.

Designed simplicity: Manufacturer's cost cut to the bone.

Foolproof operation: No provision for adjustments.

Advanced design: The advertising agency doesn't understand it.

Field-tested: Manufacturer lacks test equipment.

High accuracy: Unit on which all parts fit.

Direct sales only: Factory had big argument with distributor.

Years of development: We finally got one that works.

Revolutionary: It's different from our competitors.

Breakthrough: We finally figured out a way to sell it.

Improved: Didn't work the first time.

Futuristic: No other reason why it looks the way it does.

Distinctive: A different shape and color than the others.

Re-designed: Previous faults corrected, we hope.

Hand-crafted: Assembly machines operated without gloves on.

Performance proven: Will operate through the warranty period.

Meets all standards: Ours, not yours.

Broadcast quality: Gives a picture and produces noise.

High reliability: We made it work long enough to ship it.

SMPTE bus compatible: When completed, will be shipped by Greyhound.

New generation: Old design failed, maybe this one will work.

MIL-SPEC components: We got a good deal at a government auction.

Customer service across the country: You can return it from most airports.

Unprecedented performance: Nothing we ever had before worked this way.

Built to precision tolerances: We finally got it to fit together.

Microprocessor controlled: Does things we can't explain.

Latest aerospace technology: One of our techs was laid off by Boeing.

 Romeo

link 18.04.2005 11:23 
Музыкальные новости: Небывалым тиражом разошёлся дебютный диск группы "CD-RW" с альбомом "700 Mb".

 суслик

link 18.04.2005 12:23 
Встречаются два мужика у Биг-Бена:
- Вот тайм из ит?
- Твенти вотчес
- Сач мач?
- Фо хум хау
- МГИМО эндед?
(гордо)- Аскед...

 Aiduza

link 18.04.2005 12:30 
И вновь посыпались цитаты из "Касабланки"... :)

 justboris

link 18.04.2005 12:39 
Dedushka Gyrga: "I feel that iz the beginning of a longlasting friendship!" :)

 

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